Snails - What's WRONG with you, France?!?!

I recently wrote about finding a good frozen fishmonger in an earlier post, and one of the things I picked up was frozen edible snails in a garlic and parsley butter.

I once ate snails in Amsterdam on a stag party, and I scoffed them down, telling everyone how delicious they were. This was on a stag party...In Amsterdam....I would have eaten anything.

So I decided to give snails a try in the cold light of day. Consider this an experiment.

The snails before cooking. This could be a bad idea.

Straight from the freezer, these 'Epic Seafood' branded snails come in a foil tray, with a bright green bung of garlic and parsley butter keeping the snail sealed fresh. 10 minutes in the oven from frozen, and out they come, steaming and snaily. The smell is of garlic butter, and that's about it. I'm pretty sure that fresh would be better, but for now, frozen is where it's at.

So in goes my little fork, and out comes something from a sci-fi movie:

It Came From Outer Nose!

I consider myself quite adventurous with food, but I am not looking forward to this at all. In it goes and it's a bit of an effort to chew. Not because it's chewy, but because I'm creeping close to a gag reflex just thinking about what I'm eating. If I could seperate my thoughts from my tastebuds, I probably would have an easier time of it. It's a bit like a mushroom type texture, and doesn't taste that dissimilar. Slightly earthy, with a meaty quality. I swallow, and go in for a second one. In it goes. Chew. Blurgh. Mushroomy. I consider this a very French dish. I thought those guys were supposed to know all about food?!

I ate two from the tray, and the rest are in the bin. I don't think I'll be eating snails again....

And why do I feel so.......dirty?

Chinese Spoon are best spoon!

In China, spoons are better. This is a fact, because I'm telling you it is.

Teaspoons are ok for putting sugar in tea. They're even quite endearing to eat pudding with, because it takes longer to eat pudding with a teaspoon, so you can take a normal portion of pudding and convince yourself that there is more pudding. Eating pudding with a tablespoon is a waste of time, if you ask me. Tablespoons are only really good for measuring, opening paint tins, or using as a wacky circus mirror that makes your face look all onion shaped like Andrew Loyd Webber.

Onion face

Now consider the soup spoon. It's for eating soup. That's why they call it a soup spoon. But it doesn't hold much soup, which is a major design flaw. Screw you, 'Not-much-soup-spoon', you are only good for preparing Heroin. This spoon ruins lives.

Look at this idiot. Too much spoon.

Now consider the Chinese spoon. It holds loads of soup. It's good for eating Asian dishes that have noodles or large chunks of fish or meat, but they work for any soup. I've checked and everything. I have many Chinese spoons, and not one has come with instructions telling me NOT to eat Heinz tomato soup with it. I've even risked it, and it's safe and FUN! The tall sides to the spoon mean that you can't stick it in your mouth, you have to slurp it, and slurping a load of soup is one of the greatest pleasures known to man.

Chinese Spoon Are Best Spoon!

BEST SPOON!