Blair's Death Rain Habanero Pepper Potato Chips

I stumbled upon these crisps (Chips to our American friends) and just had to try them. I like crisps, I like spicy food. I like a challenge, but I'm not one of those mentalists that goes for maximum burn. When it comes to curries, I'll go for a jalfrezi and that's about my limit.

A bag of pure fire

I opened the bag, and was greeted by a vague smokey whiff, followed by a little spicy tickle at the back of the throat. The first crisp gave a delicious strong smokey flavour, followed by pure fire. Then I coughed a bit and reached for a cooling beverage. Yup, these things are hot. Chilli heads shouldn't be disappointed, but if anything I'd like them a bit less hot as the spice overpowers the flavour. I kept going, though. I wasn't going to let £1.50 worth of crisps go to waste. The quality of the 'kettle style' potato crisps that carry the flavour is pretty good too. They're crunchy and crisp, but not oily.

These things come highly recommended if you like your spicy food, but make sure you wash your hands before rubbing your eyes or going for a leak!
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Bacon Salt - Make Anything taste like bacon!

Once upon a time in days gone by, our distant ancestors received divine knowledge by powers greater than themselves. This knowledge formed the foundations of religions and gave people rules which guided them in how they should live their lives. These rules were many, but people felt thay they should follow them to please a higher power.

"Don't steal", said the rules. This was deemed good advice.
"Don't diddle your neighbours wife", they were told. Everybody thought this seemed fair enough.
 "Don't diddle your neighbours donkey" - everybody looked at one shifty looking guy.
"Don't have sex outside of marriage" - People were a little disappointed, but for eternal life, they thought it seemed a fair trade.
Then came the stinger - "Don't eat bacon!". People dropped to their knees, shook their fists at the sky and yelled "NOOOooooo!!! What kind of God would do this?!!?"

Cheer up, everyone, because thousands of years later EVERYBODY can enjoy the taste of bacon thanks to J&D's Bacon Salt !

It's completely Kosher, vegetarian and zero calories, but does contain MSG, so if you're not a fan of the controversial substance that makes everything taste like heaven, but allegedly gives you cancer, headaches and athletes foot, then you might not be so tempted.

Having tried some, it does indeed taste like bacon. I've had a little shake of it on scrambled eggs, cheese on toast, chips and potato wedges. It gave all of these things a bacon flavour. Verdict: the stuff works. I've even made a bloody mary with a dash of bacon salt, and it was tasty. Do not, however, put this stuff on bacon. I've heard rumours that adding bacon salt to bacon could open a portal to the pork dimension (known as a 'porkal') and turn the fabric of space and time itself into cured meat.

Bacon Salt is available from a number of retailers online.

Chip Shop Curry !!!

I have discovered something amazing! Goldfish brand Chinese Curry Sauce is available from a number of online retailers, and in supermarkets and Asian grocers. Just mix it with a bit of water in a pan, and you can pretty much throw any meat, fish or veg into it and it's tasty as hell with rice. It's savoury rather than spicy, and a little bit sweet.

..And here's the amazing part. IT'S CHIP SHOP CURRY!  Northerners rejoice! Get some chips (or wedges) cooked, and crack open a can of Dandelion and Burdock for that true Northern England chippy experience.

You need this in your life

Also, if you ever happen to see Japanese 'Katsu' curry sauce, that is also pretty similar to chip shop curry sauce. Food snobs would probably tell you otherwise, but as Gordon Ramsay says, "Fuck 'em".